New Hôm Nay

I have finished my morning workout and am taking advantage of the still-quiet house to do a little reading before the kids wake up. I'm reading a book called "Everyday Blessings" on "mindful parenting." The chapter I'm on is called "Live-in Zen Masters" and is causing me to reflect on all the things my children have taught me, and are still teaching me. Like how impatient, rigid, and attached to having my own way I can be. How reluctant I am to cede any of my planned free time to unexpected interruptions. How little I pay attention to my own internal state when under stress and how often I lack empathy for what it's like to be small and powerless. Yes, my little Zen masters are powerful and effective teachers.

Ten glorious minutes of reading go by. I hear small footsteps and look up to see Sam's head, covered in a blanket, peeking around the corner. I offer my standard morning greeting: "Samwise! Good morning sunshine!" His mouth opens and a little squeak comes out. The blanket goes over his head and he disappears back into the hall. A few seconds later he is back, curled up face-down on the floor at my feet. "Woof, woof," he says. I rub his back. "'Woof, woof' means 'I am hungry,'" he informs me. "OK, little puppy dog, let's get you something to eat."

The morning routine begins. Coffee, oranges, cereal, frozen berries. Sam gets himself dressed but in the process opens up a wound on his thumb that begins to bleed. At the same time, he urgently needs to go to the bathroom. He runs to the toilet clutching the front of his pajamas and sucking his injured thumb. Alex makes him a "band-aid" out of yellow sticky-note paper and offers to bandage him with it. I am happy she's trying to help, but must veto the paper "band-aid" in favor of a Snoopy one with an absorbent pad. We finish breakfast. I start a load of laundry and load the dishwasher. The kids find the number 8 on their Advent calendars and happily munch their chocolate squares.

10:00 AM. Swimming lessons for Alex. She is making beautiful sine-waves with her body, moving like a dolphin across the pool, a plastic ring around her feet to keep her legs together. Sam is borrowing the instructor's clipboard, writing "SAMUEL" and "MOM" in awkward capital letters with a pencil. "How do you spell 'humongous?'" he asks. We write more words and draw mazes. Alex does a delicate dive, followed by a belly-flop and a cannonball off the diving board.

11:30 AM. Half an hour for lunch and then we head to school. Alex asks if we can go to the library, "pretty please, with a cherry on top" to get a book called Barn Owls that she read in school.  She also asks, "Mom, why is it important to know how to fight?" I tell her that sometimes we need to fight to protect ourselves from being hurt, or to protect others who we love. We talk about self-defense. She wants to study Tae Kwon Do. I think I may sign her up, and Sam if they will take him.

That's it for today. Just wanted to record the ordinary stuff. Life is beautiful, no?

Alex's homemade glasses

Hi All,

I hope you had a happy Thanksgiving. We had a great time in Reno with my mom and various Billharzes/Billharz associates. Sam kept singing "Over the river and through the woods, to grandmother's house we go!" In this case it was "over the mountains and through the snow." We had cold temps (the lowest recorded on our car thermometer: 2 degrees) and icy roads on I-80, but we made it in about 9 hours. Kids' dramamine and a portable DVD player with "How to Train your Dragon" kept the back seat crew pretty happy. Alex drew some awesome dragons too.

Thanksgiving day - Alex had a blast sledding with her cousins in grandma's yard. I ran my own 5K around the neighborhood and broke a new personal record - for the coldest I've ever gone running outside (at least voluntarily). 26 degrees. Crazy! We had the usual holiday mob - 25 or so for the big turkey dinner, 15 of which were kids ages 1-18. Thomas ate mostly broccoli, Sam ate mostly cheese cubes and grapes, and Alex ate mostly cranberry sauce. Mom cooked all the side dishes and Jenny brought 3 turkeys: one real and two made out of fruit and veggies. I need to get the pictures from mom - they were amazing! It was actually a little strange NOT to cook for Thanksgiving this year, but I didn't mind too much. :-) The rest of the weekend was soooo nice and relaxing. We watched UNR beat Boise, spent time with family, helped put up the Christmas tree, and took the kids swimming and then out for pancakes. Sunday I went to church and sang hymns with my mom, which made me happy. I ran into some familiar faces there, including the pastor who married me & Bryan 19+ years ago.

After playing with their cousins, Sam and Alex decided to start their own clubs. Sam's is "the flying club," in which the boys shoot people with marshmallow guns from their airplanes, and no girls are allowed. Alex's is "the loving club" and grandma and I were the first to join.

In other news, I visited Washington, DC for a work conference and enjoyed the change of scenery, the chance to eat at a good Ethiopian restaurant, and warmer weather than in Utah. But it was good to get back home.

Four books I liked this month:
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (listened to Jeremy Irons read this on CD - great stuff!)
The Hunger Games - good suspenseful thriller with an interesting premise
Mutant Message Down Under by Marlo Morgan - an American woman goes on an impromptu 4-month "walkabout" across the Australian continent with a tribe of Aborigines
Fool's Gold by Gillian Tett - the story behind the 2008 financial meltdown - the housing bubble, the big banks crashing and burning, the Wall street craziness behind it all. Not my usual reading material but it's been surprisingly interesting, and eye-opening.

Well, that is about all our news for November. We are full of thankfulness and mindful of our many blessings.

Peace,

Sarah

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Hello All,

I was a little worried about how this first school photo would turn out, since this girl does not like to comb her hair. Plus, picture day was Papa's day to drop her off at school and who knew what she would be wearing. I think we got lucky! Whew.

Alex goes through stages of bedtime fears. I think it's a form of separation anxiety. She'll be fine for a while and then go through a period of being afraid. When we ask what she's afraid of, she'll say, "My room," or "the dark," or "my closet." The other night she told me, "I keep hearing ominous sounds in my room." :-) I didn't even know she knew that word!

We have developed a system that works for us. We put a sleeping bag or blanket on the floor of our bedroom. We tell her that whenever she is afraid, she is welcome to come in and sleep on the floor as long as she is quiet. When kindergarten started, she did start coming in about every other night. Gradually she's coming in less and less. It helps that our floor is not quite as comfortable as her bed.

I had forgotten all about the sleep fairy until she reminded me a few days ago. When she was 3, we had a really hard time getting her to go to sleep and stay in her room. We told her that the sleep fairy would leave her a prize under her pillow if she went to bed quietly and stayed quiet all night. The sleep fairy left pennies, raisins, pieces of candy, stickers, and occasionally small toys.

The other day she said she wanted the sleep fairy to come again. Maybe this was her way of telling me she is ready to plan on sleeping in her room every night again. So the sleep fairy has been visiting. Now that Sam is a little older, of course he wants in on the action, so he gets a prize too. I have to admit it's a lot of fun being the sleep fairy and coming up with new things to put under their pillows. I love to watch them sleep.

I love October in Utah. This month has been so nice and warm, with cooler nights (finally turned on the heat this month). We had our first dusting of snow on the mountaintops recently, but it didn't last long. The leaves are gorgeous.

Tammy and I had a great run together this morning on the Jordan River Parkway. It's so nice to start a Saturday running as the sun comes up. I went 9.25 miles in 1:42:49, a good bit better than my last run of that length (approx) - 9.55 miles at 2:03. Just happy to be doing it.

Yesterday was Sam's half birthday (making him 4 and 1/2). He made it a special day by reading "5 Hour Energy" off a bottle in the grocery store. I was astounded - normally don't kids start with little words like "cat"? Before you get too impressed, I'll just say he hasn't read anything before or since. But it was nice to know he is off to a good start!

Today I went shopping for some simple basics: black sweatpants and plain long-sleeve t-shirts.

I was quickly reminded why I have hated shopping for clothes ever since I turned 13. I'm sort of a freak of nature, but I always forget until I try to find clothes that fit.

I am still IN BETWEEN the girls' sizes and the women's sizes, believe it or not. Since the super-sizing of America, I swear women's "Small" sizes have increased every year. Clothes my size simply do not exist in most stores. The "petite" sizes are great for my pre-teen-length legs, but actual petites are few and far between, and if I find them at all they scream "grandma" or "reject from 8 seasons ago". The women's "XS" shirts are the only ones with a neckline that doesn't plunge below my nipple line, but at the same time their sleeves hang down to my knees. Who actually fits in these clothes? The women's sweatpants don't exist in XS, but the "S" sizes (smallest available) extend 3 inches past my heels. Since they are a cotton/poly blend, I don't think my old trick of washing them in hot water and blasting them in the dryer to shrink them will work.

So I head to the girls' section, since the largest girls' clothes occasionally fit, sort of. The advantage is, sometimes they are cheaper. The disadvantage: most girls' clothes are NOT appropriate for 40+ professional women. Sometimes the legs are short enough; most often they are too short. There isn't much hip or bust room, even though I've not got much of either. The "L" sizes are too tight and the "XL" sizes have legs that are too short combined with waists that are too big.

I felt fortunate to find ONE women's petite pair of black yoga/stretch pants, which were exactly the right length and cost 3 times as much as any of the regular women's or girls' pants. They were the only petite clothing item I saw in the entire store. I bought them.

It's one thing to be a teenager in this awkward in-between stage and eventually outgrow it. It's another to be permanently stuck there. My mom is still there too - at least I know I'm not the only one. And someday, maybe I'll be a grandma and all those grandma clothes will be perfect!

Alex really, really loves swimming. Every time we take her to the pool, she gets this huge grin plastered across her face. When it's swim lesson day, her face lights up and she can't wait to go. When it's time to get in the water, there is no toe-dipping or getting used to the water - she just bounds in (head and all, under the water) as if there's not a moment to be lost. I don't think there's anything she likes better.

So when we won free swim lessons with Swimkidz at a school fundraiser silent auction, it was perfect! She LOVED her lessons and made great progress. The only problem is, now she is addicted to the one-on-one attention and wants the expensive private lessons instead of the cheap group lessons. Surprise, surprise.

Actually, I did see big improvements in her abilities after just 2 lessons. She is swimming on her back independently, diving to the bottom to retrieve rings, jumping off the diving board, making good progress in the backstroke and starting to learn the crawlstroke. So, how could we not give her more lessons? There is true joy in following your child's passion and doing little things that make them so ridiculously happy.

Took the plunge. Dealing with the fall-out. About to secure my freedom from the evil tentacled monster. Takes 12 steps, but I hit a brick wall at 8.

Took time off to recuperate and recover my energy. Now back from paradise, rejuvenated and ready to take on the beast again. All eyes on the prize, one more trip to deliver the coup de grace to that other beast in the west. Once that's done, its just a matter of time and protocol until the next step is reached.

Its scary and new, but isn't that just what makes it all so deliciously exciting?

We've been having beautiful weather, and this weekend Bryan was on call so I thought I'd take the kids out to do something new and fun.
I'd heard about this Dinosaur Park up in Ogden, about an hour north of here, and it was a perfect fall Sunday afternoon so off we went. Darn it, I forgot the camera. Oopsie.

It was a good park, full of interesting facts and life-size models of all kinds of dinosaurs. There was a robotic display inside, in which a triceratops with 2 babies faces off against a T. Rex. Lots of posturing, roaring and grunting.

The thing was, they had the park all decorated for Halloween, including very loud realistic sounds coming from speakers all over the park. We could hear it from outside the gate. Howls, growls, roars, thunderous footsteps, and crashing-through-the-brush sounds. A sign at the front entrance read that some of the Halloween decorations may be a bit scary for young children. Yeah - do you think young children coming to a dinosaur park might find fake body parts and human skeletons hanging from the trees just a wee bit disturbing?

At first the kids were pretty freaked out. They stayed close to me especially when the sounds got louder and more threatening. We talked about how everything was just pretend and they understood that. Eventually they were able to enjoy the playground, the dino dig, real lizards and especially some popsicles I bought them, but overall I was disappointed. At least the kids seemed to survive and there was no evidence of nightmares the next day.

I just don't get all the gory, creepy Halloween displays. I'm a Halloween scrooge. I say, Bah, humbug.

I'm moving the Maulden newsletter to my blog. So here it is.

This month was the Month of Perpetual Fun at our house. Every weekend we did something different, and though I hadn't planned that, I like the way it turned out. Except for this...courtesy of Salt Lake County.



Labor Day weekend we camped with our church in the mountains outside of Coalville, UT, about 1.5 hours away. We had a bigger turnout, meaning some poor unsuspecting campers wound up sharing their cabin with us. Both kids fell out of their bottom bunks in the middle of the night, sending me or Bryan scrambling down from the top bunks to rescue them. I got up early one morning to run (training for the half marathon), and enjoyed a gorgeous morning, with beautiful scenery and a deep quiet that I don't get in the city...very, very nice.

September 11 - ran a half marathon in the Little Grand Canyon! Awesome. Great weather, great friends to run with, great scenery, great food afterwards. Love the endorphins and the feeling of being in the best shape of my life! Even better, I raised over $1000 for Holt Ilsan Center in Korea. THANK YOU everyone - you are good people!

September 18 - Alex milked her first cow at Wheeler Farm...


gave all of us tattoos...


and experimented with my camera during the car ride to Cascade Springs.


We had a wonderful time there...


until Sam fell in the creek.  Of course, we had brought a change of clothes.


Next weekend was the Oktoberfest at Alex's school. Rides! Games! Candy! Lederhosen! Bratwurst! Beer (in Utah!?!?!) Sauerkraut! and a special appearance by Yodel Man. Yeah, didn't know he existed but he has his own costume and can get a whole crowd of kids yodeling. We won free swimming lessons at the silent auction, but missed out on getting the principal's parking spot for a year - a total steal at $35. Speaking of winning, I also won a CD collection of Mahler's complete works, in a daily drawing for donating to our local classical music station. Mahler is OK, I guess, but I kinda wish it were something else. One friend's opinion of Mahler has always stuck with me: "Whenever I finish hearing Mahler, I feel like I have to ask what century it is." Maybe I can sell it on e-bay??

And as if all that weren't enough, we went to the Ringling Bros/Barnum & Bailey circus too. It was nuts, we paid way too much for popcorn and cotton candy, and it was everything a circus should be.

And now September is over. I'm relieved. Having all this fun has been hard work. Plus, I had to give three different presentations for work this month, and public speaking stresses me out. Glad that's over! I did have a very nice evening with some friends at Silver Lake.



Oh yes - a reading update. Book of the month was The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. She's a writer and mom of 2 living in New York City who diligently researched happiness and then tried to pursue it intentionally for a year. I liked her honesty and sense of humor. After reading the book, I joined a book club, which I know will contribute to my happiness. :-) Next month we're reading The Help by Kathryn Stockett.

I will end with something I'm thankful for - we all went to the dentist this month and got good reports.

Til next time,

Sarah

The question of the night (in our church group): How do you practice listening, or silence, or stillness in your life?

Recently I enjoyed skimming a little book called "Five Good Minutes in the Evening." It's a collection of little "practices" you can do to quiet your mind at the end of the day, touch base with God, or your body or breathing, and let go of the day. I like it. I often do some praying during this time.

How about you?

This morning Sam asked me, "How do you make bread?"

I told him about mixing up flour and water and yeast, stirring and kneading, and putting dough in the oven.

Then he chimed in, "And then you cut a piece off and send it to your tongue!"

Send it to your tongue. How do kids come up with stuff like this?

Goodnight, I'm going to go send a few chocolate covered acai berries to my tongue.

Took the kids to the circus today - their first time ever. Alex claimed she did not want to go, but once we were there, she loved it. She kept yelling at the trapeze artists to "Be careful up there! That is VERY DANGEROUS!"

It's one of those things I would never do if I didn't have kids, but I enjoy it because I do have kids.

It was a good show - I especially liked the acrobats and the high flyers. The looks on the kids' faces as they gaped in amazement with their mouths wide open: priceless.

An act I don't remember seeing as a child: seven guys on motorcycles zooming around inside a giant metal cage, in the dark, with glow-in-the-dark helmets and uniforms on. Cool. Overall, I think the circus is better than I remember as a kid. I still don't really laugh at the clowns, though.

In reading "The Happiness Project" for a new book club, I am intrigued by the idea of writing a one-sentence journal. Maybe if I only had to write one sentence, I would blog more often.

Anyway, one thing the book made me think about is how all the little moments go by so fast. "The days are long, but the years are short." I wanted to remember something that happened this week.

I've been reading a really good book about raising adopted kids. The most recent chapter talked about "facial exploration" and how some adopted kids are fascinated with exploring their new parents' faces. Maybe as infants they didn't get the chance to do this as much as children who stayed with their birth parents. The book encouraged parents to help their children learn to explore - gently - and mirror their kids' actions to promote connection.

Anyway, the very next morning after reading that chapter, Sam came and climbed up in my lap when he woke up. He and I often are the first ones up in the morning, and we enjoy our special one-on-one time. This morning, I was smiling at him. He looked into my eyes, reached out one finger and gently touched my teeth. "Teeth," he said. I touched his front teeth and replied, "Teeth."

He touched my nose. "Nose," I said. "Nose," he replied.

Then he touched my eyes. "Eyes." I touched his eyes. "Eyes."

And so it went with cheeks, chin, lips, eyebrows, forehead. Then he touched my glasses and said, "Glasses." I reached toward his eyes and said, "No glasses!" And we both laughed.

I just wanted to remember this little game we played. It was very sweet.

We did it!

This picture was taken only moments after crossing the finish line. Actually, I think I gulped a few bites of watermelon between the finish and this picture. Can you see the juice dripping down my chin?



It was cold at the start - upper 30's. Brrr!! Yes, I did have 3 layers on my top half and no, I did not get too hot at the end. I like to be warm.


The scenery was nice and the sun came up as we ran...ahhh...the weather was ideal, no wind and cloudless blue skies.

Isn't this a nice rock formation? Again, love the color of the sky. A beautiful cerulean blue.



This self-portrait was made at about mile 8. I think it was around that time I started to feel a little pickup from the triple-berry caffeinated goo (aka GU) that I sampled at the aid station. That stuff is weird. Like eating toothpaste. While running. Yeah. Weird.


More geologic wonderment.



Coolest feature of the run - ancient Native American pictographs painted on the canyon walls.



Holding up our medals (and Sno-Cone) at the end. We crossed the finish line together in 2:23 and something. Yay, us! and, a shout out to Jeff Galloway who gave us the virtual coaching and training schedule to finish strong. We ran 4 minutes, walked 1 min. the whole way except for the last mile which we ran in 9:39. Our average pace was between 10-11 min/mile, I think. We were soundly beaten by most of the crowd, of course, most notably by a couple pushing the cutest twins imaginable in a double stroller. On a dirt/gravel road. I marvel at the energy of any parents of infant twins to do such a thing. I really wish I had gotten pictures of the babies on the bus ride - they were smiling at everyone and really, really, really, really, really, really cute.

Speaking of pictures - all pictures (above) courtesy of my friend Tammy and nice friends along the way who helped out. There are more from Jessica's husband who captured us doing our warmup exercises, so maybe I'll add them later, if they're not too embarrassing. :-)

I am so grateful that I could do this! Grateful not only for a great race day, but for new friends and new experiences, even black toenails and weird goo along the way. I never imagined running would become a fun hobby for me. Life is strange, but good.

Last but not least - a huge thanks to all my friends and supporters - Holt's Ilsan Center is about to gain $1000 in donations! Thank you for making it happen. You're the best!



Cheers,

Sarah

How did we go from here...



to here...



so fast?

It feels like this...



which is all I could get when I tried to take her picture on the first day of school. She was totally anti-picture. It's probably the only picture you'll ever see where she's moving and Sam is standing still. :-)  Leave it to her to be the nonconformist kid who won't let me be sentimental and document the memories. I feel sorry for the photographer at her wedding already.

Her first day at school went great, from what I heard. Of course, it helps that she gained instant popularity by bringing donuts for the class for her birthday. The drop-off was chaos, but in a good way. I am impressed already with the teacher's craftiness. She met us at the door with a list of instructions for how to organize and put away all the school supplies. It kept everyone busy and taught all the kids where everything goes, and no one had time to even think about crying. :-) Zip zip, we said goodbye and went out the door to a ferocious thunderstorm that soaked us running to the car. The whole sky opened up and I read in the news that a man was hit by lightning but was doing OK. A drama day for my drama girl.

She had her swim party with friends last week, so tonight we just had a family "party." Her choice for birthday dinner was Kraft macaroni and cheese, and ice cream for dessert. I tried her pink bubblegum flavor and it tasted exactly like those fluoride treatments at the dentist.

I have lots more blurry pictures, as she never wants her picture taken, but I finally was able to sneak one good one. Happy birthday to my sweet SIX year old - I love you soooooooo much.

I'm in Las Vegas for a work-related trip this week. The hotel has a gym, but unlike in most hotels, gym access is not included in the room fee. They want $25 per day or $50 for 3 days. No thanks.

So, my challenge last night was to find somewhere to run. It's about 100 degrees here in August and we're located in the middle of the Strip. Running through the air-conditioned mall adjacent to our hotel was tempting, but I felt too self-conscious. So I took an impromptu, self-guided walking tour of the area. It was hot, and the sidewalks were packed with tourists taking photos, so I rescheduled the run for the morning and wandered around. I can't remember when I was here last - maybe 7 years - and it hasn't changed much - if anything it looks a little more worn down. I wonder if the economy has been tough on it. Anyway, Seinfeld, Cher, and Cirque du Soleil are all here, and I saw one ad for Donny and Marie. Good times.

This morning I did run for about 45 minutes. It was still hot - probably 75 degrees - but at least the crowds were gone and the scenery was interesting. Too bad I'm such a flake - should have brought my camera - maybe tomorrow morning. I passed Caesar's Palace, the Mirage, Treasure Island with the pirate ship, the volcano that erupts every hour, the Eiffel Tower, the Venetian, Fashion Show plaza, Circus Circus and some less glitzy areas under construction. There was a "Sin on Sunday" billboard too. I got to run up and down some escalators and threw in a few extra flights of stairs just for kicks. There were a few other joggers, a few homeless people and a police officer just hanging out on the corner. The casinos were all open - definitely a 24 hour town.

Never thought I would be jogging on the strip in Vegas at 6 a.m. I wouldn't call it a "rave run", but at least it's a nice flat road with unique scenery. One thing I won't miss about Vegas is the air - between the smoke inside and the exhaust outside, I bet my cilia are working overtime.

So today we were at the playground and a Caucasian girl walks up to Alex and says, "Why are your eyes so small?"

Alex looked at her and said, "What?"

"Why are your eyes so small?"

Alex: "They're NOT."

Girl: "Well, why are they...like...(pointing to the corners of her own eyes, searching for words)...that?"

Alex walked away and came over to me and said, "Mom, that girl doesn't know ANYTHING."

Boy, did she hit the nail on the head there. I mostly love living in Utah, but sometimes it is frustrating that kids of this age seem never to have encountered a person of another race before? Come on!

We had a more in depth talk about this afterward, and Alex seemed OK, but I did see in her face at the time the confusion and hurt of feeling singled out and made to feel, well, different. I feel so inadequate as a parent to guide her through these moments. Pray for us as school starts in a few weeks...Alex has been showing more signs of anxiety lately. And I don't think this little experience today was very helpful. Sigh.

Today, I am thrilled to report I have achieved my goals for my first 10K race!
 - to finish:
 - in the upright position,
 - with a smile on my face,
 - wanting to do it again.
I even attained a new Personal Best - 1:09:53. (earlier record was 1:14:05) Woo-hoo! I haven't set or achieved many physical goals in my life, so this was fun. What made it special, though, was the opportunity to share the experience with old and new friends.



It was thoroughly enjoyable from beginning to end. I never thought I would say that about running 6.2 miles, but it was true. Sarah, Jessica and I ran at a "conversational" pace and enjoyed each other's funny stories while doing the Galloway thing (running 5 minutes, walking 1) until mile 5, and then we ran the last mile (plus point two) to the finish. Tammy (who had outraced us easily) was waiting for us at the finish; it was wonderful to have people cheering for me as I crossed the line. :-)



The morning was beautiful, with blue skies and gorgeous views of Mt. Timpanogos. Afterwards we were treated to free sports drinks and french toast. Overall, it was a very satisfying day! I am looking forward to my next race. :)

5 years ago on May 25...


We welcomed the girl of our dreams into our arms and hearts.




Happy Arrival Day, Alex! We love you.

 

Alex has been talking about making "hand shaped soup" for a few days. It is an Alex original. Here is the recipe, exactly as dictated:

1 egg
2 cups baking powder
1 cup vanilla extract
4 cups milk
1 cup flour
3 cups sugar

Mix all ingredients in a big bowl and bake for 5 minutes.

Doesn't it sound delicious? I am almost ready to let her make it, just to see her face when she tastes it.

Reminds me of the time my sister's 1st grade teacher had each child write the instructions for "How to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich" and then the teacher read them to the class and made the sandwiches exactly as the recipes directed. I'll have to remember that one for the next rainy afternoon.